Donald Trump's Sexy YMCA Dance Makes Me Horny!

https://youtu.be/Ts57B3mekxs

Hubba-bubba! Check out this hunky twink twerking around! Hubba-bubba yum yum! I want him twerking in my face!! I'm hungry for his butt cheese and white gravy! Hubba-bubba nom-nom! Hubba-bubba nom-nom!

Hey Guys! Check Out This Sexy Thong Video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r4F0-i2uj8

I could cut and paste the embed code, but this video would only show up as a link because it's age restricted. Which means, guys, if you want to watch it you have to go to YouTube. Which I highly recommend doing. This video is so sexy I had to pleasure myself several times before it ended! Hubba bubba!

Meanwhile I am able to post this video directly to my blog.

In the video above hot sluts dance in their nighties. Disgusting! They extend their arms to the ceiling while arching their backs. "Look at my boobies" I can imagine them saying. No doubt these hussies anger God. Temping straight dudes like myself to masturbate while watching them shimmy and gyrate. They should be ashamed.

Hippopotamus Shart Video Compilation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwNi6kE__Mw

You might say this is gross, but I say it's awesome! My bro Rikishi was walking around the house nude yesterday. He had just gotten up for the day and showered. I woke up as he squatted and farted in my face. I rewarded him with a wet smooch directly on his butthole. If only it had been a yummy shart!

World Record Holder

So I recently took a job acting in a gay pornography film. Over one hundred men lined up to be orally pleasured by yours truly. But this does NOT mean I am gay. I am a 100% straight man. What I was interested in accomplishing was breaking the world record for most white gravy consumed during one gang bang. Which I did (break the record). Confirmed by a stomach pump performed after I finished servicing all the other actors. 2.1 pints! Hurray for me! Other world records I am interested in breaking are the longest poo (12 foot, 2 inches) and most prolonged fart (2 minutes 42 seconds). That last one I believe I will be able to break easily (and actually I should have gone for this one first). https://www.angelfire.com/wa3/mud/WorldRecords.html

The Yummy Tuna Sub

Have you ever had explosive diarrhea? I've been on the toilet for several hours now with a nasty case of the Hershey squirts. This might be fun, except for the fact that my tummy hurts bigly. I think it all started when I found that sandwich in the park earlier today. A yummy subway tuna sub, sitting right there on top of the trash. How could I resist? Even though it was petty hot (from baking in the sun, I presume) and the mayo tasted a little tangy. It only had a couple of bites out of it though. I couldn't resist, so I wolfed it down. Maybe I got food poisoning?

Bud Bundy Is My Sex Slave!

My life just keeps getting better and betterer. I just received my custom made Bud Bundy sex doll. Paid for (in part) with my Covid stimulus money (thank you, fake president Joe Bidet). My bro Rikishi and I are going to have a lot of fun tonight boinking Bud and getting boinked by Bud. Bud Bundy = hubba hubba! https://www.myrobotdoll.com/collections/create-your-sex-doll/products/create-your-customized-male-sex-doll https://www.amazon.com/David-Faustino-Bundy-Signed-Rubber/dp/B00R0JE7RG

A Master At Playing The Rusty Trombone

Like I always say, the haters inevitably get super jelly when they find out I'm a master at playing the rusty trombone. I can play the rusty trombone all day and night. Which I often do. Much to my bro Rikishi's delight. BTW, if that ruffles your tail feathers... you can bite me!

I Love White Gravy

 Like I've always said, if you gently squeeze the grapenuts while deep throating the sausage, you'll be rewarded with some delicious white gravy. So tasty!