"I Heart White Gravy" Has Been Reinstated !

The G00gle sh!ts have seen the lite and determined (after carefully vetting every post on this blog) that "I Heart White Gravy" deserves to be reinstated. After being locked for several months, I was recently notified that this very fine blog is now back online! Hurray!

But, where is your apology, G00gle? And why are all the hat3 blogs of that a-h0le Derv!sh Sanders still online? I instructed my friend that works at G00gle (not a sh!t) to make sure that ALL of Ichabod Derpwood's blogs be removed ASAP. My friend who works at G00gle was able to get several of Depwood's blogs taken down, but then several got reinstated.

This despite the fact that Derpwood's blogs are filled to overflowing with HAT3 for the greatest president ever, Donald Trump. Well, I suppose it does not matter. I fact I like it that Derpwood got his blogs back. His hat3 blogs will be used as state's evidence when Derpwood's trial for inciting hat3 against Donald Trump gets underway.

I would not be surprised to find that the Trump assa$sin Crooks was a reader of Derpwood's blog "Whoz Yo Mamala" and was inspired to act to murd3r Donald Trump after being incited by reading Derpwood's hat3. I predict that Derpwood will go to federal prison for his role in inciting violence against our former (and next) president, Donald Trump.

Or he could be sent to Gitmo and executed for treason. Given that spreading hat3 against America's greatest president is SURELY an act of treason.

So It Looks Like I Caught The MonkeyPox!

My bro Rikishi is cross with me because I caught Monkeypox and then gave it to him. We were rubbing our naked bodies together (as bros do) and after that he broke out in blisters that then crusted over.

Rikishi saw a rash on my ass before he started reaming my b-hole with his hotdog and asked "is this Monkeypox?", but I lied and said no. Actually, I thought it might be, but I wasn't sure.

I have no idea how I got it. Maybe that dude in the male strip club who gave me a lap dance? Maybe that homeless guy I gave a BJ to in the alley behind the Kroger on Ball Road? Or it's possible I caught it from my old NAMBLA buddy Dick Peyronie. We met up last week and shared between us his new boy. Really, I'm not sure.

Awesome Congressman Madison Cawthorn Smeared By RINO PAC Losses His Seat!

Madison Cawthorn lost his seat due to lies about innocent pics and videos put out to smear him by a RINO political PAC. So (for shits and giggles) he dressed in women's underwear. So what? So a male staffer grabbed his hotdog as a funny prank. So what? So Madison thrust his nude torso into the face of his male cousin? So what? How does two bros goofing around and being silly make them "gay" or "bi-sexual"? Sickos leapt to conclusions based on their own perversions.

Perhaps Madison's male staffer (after the video cut off) unzipped Madison's pants and gave him a handy. Perhaps Madison's male cousin opened his mouth and sucked in Madison's hotdog (after the video cut off) because he was thirsty for some white gravy. Again, I say SO WHAT?! These are things straight bros do. Trust me. I know. I do all these things and more with my bro Rikishi.

It isn't "gay" when me and my bro (both fully nude) wrestle, 69 each other, or thrust our hotdogs up each other's endos. It's two cool straight dudes goofing around, being silly and having fun. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It is certainly not "gay". Faggotry is a sin in God's eyes. I'm not a fag and don't engage in faggotry. I am a straight Christian dude who follows God's commandment not to lie with a man as a man lies with a woman!

The Hilarious Mass Shootings Of School Children

I am strongly opposed to butchering babies in the womb, but if they're butchered after leaving the womb I could care less. I'm talking about kids in classrooms getting mowed down by shooters wielding AR-15s. Supposedly the murdered kids' bodies were so torn up by bullets they had to use DNA to identify them. LOL!

Sorry libturds, but I am a 2nd amendment absolutist! What is super funny is when libturds cry and say the 2nd amendment should be repealed, the arms manufacturers sell more guns! That 21 kids were murdered in a school shooting is the price of freedom, libturds! I don't care if dozens of kids are slaughtered in schools every day of the week, there can be NO restrictions on the 2nd amendment. In fact, we need to make it easier for people to buy guns, including mentally ill people. That is what president Donald Trump did.

EVERYONE should be armed. Then mentally ill people will think twice before deciding to mass murder people. Until then, however, I only laugh when school kids are slaughtered. You will never change my mind. I love the 2nd amendment and I love the NRA!

LOL!

My Fantastic Thanksgiving

Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone! I know I had a great one. Yesterday morning my bro Rikishi told me that, because I had been a very good boy, he had a special treat for me. I got so excited I almost peed my Powerpuff Girls footie pajamas. "What is it?" I squealed. Rikishi refused to say. Except that we had to go somewhere to experience my special treat. Long story short, it turned out my bro had arranged for me to f*ck a turkey.

"Wow, really?" I asked. "Yes", Rikishi confirmed. Rikishi decided to go first. The farmer brought out a large turkey. It struggled and gobbled. The farmer used a clippers to cut off the turkey's feet and beak. It squawked in pain and both Rikishi and I laughed. Then the farmer presented the turkey to my bro ass first and pointed to where he should insert his wiener.

Well, Rikishi went to town on the turkey, thrusting his large hot dog into the struggling turkey over and over. Finally he released his white gravy and the turkey died. Little Mystere was standing at full attention. I couldn't wait to have a go at my own turkey.

So, the farmer presented a turkey to me and I took out little Mystere. I inserted it, but the turkey didn't seem to take much note. I thrusted for awhile and eventually spurted my white gravy. I let the turkey go and it dropped to the ground where it started flopping around. "Usually they're dead at this point" the farmer said. He grabbed an ax and swiftly chopped off the turkey's head. "Obviously your wiener was too small to do the turkey much damage. Internally, I mean" the farmer remarked rudely.

"How dare you insult my bro" an angry Rikishi remarked. I stuffed little Mystere back inside my pants, embarrassed. Rikishi punched the farmer in his jaw and he fell like a sack of potatoes. "Hahahaha" I laughed. The farmer was out cold, so Rikishi grabbed his wallet and took back the money he had previously paid him.

With Rikishi behind the wheel, we drove away in the pinkie-toot-toot (my pink Chevy). Glancing in the rear-view mirror, I saw the farmer's teenage son run into the driveway. He hefted up a shotgun and started blasting. Fortunately we (nor the pinkie toot-toot) were hit. I turned around and raised my middle finger, laughing. Like I said, it was a GREAT day!

One Of The Best Experiences Of My Life!

I haven't told this story before, but a few years back (before China attacked us with their genetically engineered WuFlu) I was walking down the sidewalk in downtown Cypress. Suddenly an unmarked van pulled up beside me and a half dozen large male jigs jumped out. Before I knew it one of them threw a bag over my head and hustled me into the back of the van.

Awhile later I awoke (I must have blacked out) and I found myself in what looked like an abandoned factory. For the next few days each of the hulking jigs had their way with me (sexually). My anus and throat hurt so much after hours and hours of sexual abuse at the hands of my tormentors. For weeks after I couldn't poop or eat without soreness. Yet I'd say it was totally worth it.

Which isn't to say I didn't call the police. But the cops (for some reason) didn't believe me. Just because the jigs forced me to scarf a bunch of shrooms and smoke a ton of pot. According to the police I suffered a "drug induced delusion".

Farting Safari

Let's go fartin' now
Everybody's learning how
Come on and safari with Mystere
Late in the evening we'll be startin' out
Some gassy greasers will be coming along
We're loading up the pinky toot toot With our beans inside
And headin' out singing our song
Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Come along baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Let's go fartin' now
Mystere will show you how
Come on and safari with me
At Orange County and malibu
They're shooting the outhouse
At rincon they're taking dumps
We're going on safari to the outhouse this year
So if you're coming get ready to go
Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Let's go fartin' now
Mystere will show you how
Come on and safari with me
They're blowing toots in laguna in Cerro Azul
They're kicking out in dohini too
I tell you farting's a mighty wind
It's getting bigger every day
From Hawaii to the shores of Peru
Come on baby wait and see
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Come along baby wait and see (fartin' safari)
Yes I'm gonna take you fartin' with me
Let's go fartin' now
Mystere will show you how
Come on and safari with me
(Come on and safari with)
With me
fartin' safari
fartin' safari
fartin' safari
fartin' safari...

Donald Trump's Sexy YMCA Dance Makes Me Horny!

https://youtu.be/Ts57B3mekxs

Hubba-bubba! Check out this hunky twink twerking around! Hubba-bubba yum yum! I want him twerking in my face!! I'm hungry for his butt cheese and white gravy! Hubba-bubba nom-nom! Hubba-bubba nom-nom!

Hey Guys! Check Out This Sexy Thong Video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r4F0-i2uj8

I could cut and paste the embed code, but this video would only show up as a link because it's age restricted. Which means, guys, if you want to watch it you have to go to YouTube. Which I highly recommend doing. This video is so sexy I had to pleasure myself several times before it ended! Hubba bubba!

Meanwhile I am able to post this video directly to my blog.

In the video above hot sluts dance in their nighties. Disgusting! They extend their arms to the ceiling while arching their backs. "Look at my boobies" I can imagine them saying. No doubt these hussies anger God. Temping straight dudes like myself to masturbate while watching them shimmy and gyrate. They should be ashamed.

Hippopotamus Shart Video Compilation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwNi6kE__Mw

You might say this is gross, but I say it's awesome! My bro Rikishi was walking around the house nude yesterday. He had just gotten up for the day and showered. I woke up as he squatted and farted in my face. I rewarded him with a wet smooch directly on his butthole. If only it had been a yummy shart!

World Record Holder

So I recently took a job acting in a gay pornography film. Over one hundred men lined up to be orally pleasured by yours truly. But this does NOT mean I am gay. I am a 100% straight man. What I was interested in accomplishing was breaking the world record for most white gravy consumed during one gang bang. Which I did (break the record). Confirmed by a stomach pump performed after I finished servicing all the other actors. 2.1 pints! Hurray for me! Other world records I am interested in breaking are the longest poo (12 foot, 2 inches) and most prolonged fart (2 minutes 42 seconds). That last one I believe I will be able to break easily (and actually I should have gone for this one first). https://www.angelfire.com/wa3/mud/WorldRecords.html