I haven't told this story before, but a few years back (before China attacked us with their genetically engineered WuFlu) I was walking down the sidewalk in downtown Cypress. Suddenly an unmarked van pulled up beside me and a half dozen large male jigs jumped out. Before I knew it one of them threw a bag over my head and hustled me into the back of the van.
Awhile later I awoke (I must have blacked out) and I found myself in what looked like an abandoned factory. For the next few days each of the hulking jigs had their way with me (sexually). My anus and throat hurt so much after hours and hours of sexual abuse at the hands of my tormentors. For weeks after I couldn't poop or eat without soreness. Yet I'd say it was totally worth it.
Which isn't to say I didn't call the police. But the cops (for some reason) didn't believe me. Just because the jigs forced me to scarf a bunch of shrooms and smoke a ton of pot. According to the police I suffered a "drug induced delusion".
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